"This is discrimination!"

The passenger in the row behind me was throwing his second tantrum of the flight.

The first one happened after he walked from the main cabin into first class to use the restroom. Three flight attendants were working in the front galley and one of them politely asked him to use the restroom in the main cabin.

He raised his voice and cursed about it, but the flight attendants remained polite, calm, and professional. Finally, the passenger relented and walked to the back of the plane.

Now, the passenger wanted to give one of the flight attendants another earful.

"This is discrimination!" he exclaimed. "The only reason you didn't let me use that restroom is because I'm a gay man."

It was an incendiary accusation. And completely false. The passenger was simply being a bully and was making a weak attempt to appear righteous.

The flight attendant listened calmly for a moment and let the passenger rant. She then replied politely, yet firmly, that no one was discriminating against the passenger.

And then she walked away.

It was a brilliant move that de-escalated the situation. The passenger huffed a bit, but he no longer had a flight attendant to use as an emotional punching bag.

The passengers in the immediate area breathed a sigh of relief. None of us wanted to be on a flight with one of those "incidents."

By coincidence, I was on a flight with the same crew the next day. I approached the flight attendant, Lauren, and thanked her for defusing that angry passenger.

A wave of relief rushed over Lauren. This surprised me. The day before, Lauren had appeared so calm and confident when defusing that passenger's anger. I was in awe of her abilities and wanted to express my gratitude.

Now, I saw a different side.

Lauren told me his angry rant and accusation of discrimination had stayed with her. That night, she had gone for a run to clear her head. "The tears were flowing while I ran," Lauren admitted.

The passenger was mean and unfair. She felt certain he would complain about her. Lauren worried about losing her job or getting in trouble, though she conceded that was unlikely.

She asked me if I would share what I witnessed with the airline and I told her I already had. I could see the relief wash over her again.

The conversation reminded me how important it is to show appreciation and support to customer service professionals who are working hard to serve us. It's nice to have someone back you up.

I talk to a lot of customer service professionals like Lauren.

Many feel beat up by angry and unreasonable customers. A server fled the restaurant in tears after an obnoxious guest loudly cursed at her. A retail employee felt abused by entitled customers who treated him like a second-class citizen. A contact center agent was emotionally drained after getting yelled at by dozens of customers in a single shift.

They need our support.

You can show appreciation whether you're a manager, coworker, or even another customer. This kindness helps restore self-esteem and a sense of belonging, two basic human needs that must be met before we can serve others.

Burnout is a real challenge in service industries. A study I conducted revealed that 74 percent of contact center agents are at risk of burnout.

A little appreciation goes a long way. We need exceptional people like Lauren to know their work makes a difference.

Resources

• Blog post: How to harness the power of peer recognition

• Book: Getting Service Right (Chapter 10 focuses on emotional roadblocks)

• Video: Show some customer service love (LinkedIn Learning subscription required)